A Story..

The past seven months for me have been bliss. I have the most amazing guy. And I know, every girl says that about every boyfriend. But truthfully, most of them are jerks. Not this one. He's as real as it gets. I could go on about how he loves me for me and blah blah. But I won't. I'll get on with telling our story.

I was introduced to him in the eighth grade. I stayed with my grandma a lot on the weekend, and since I had no internet at home, I was always using the computer there. I use to be on MSN at all hours, talking to the most boring people. One of my friends, Serena, & I were chatting one day. She told me about this boy named Jacob whom she had a bit of a crush on. She was friends with him and his girlfriend at that time. I can't say I remember why, but for some reason, she wanted me to talk to him. So she gave me his e-mail, and I added him. When I seen his picture, I was automatically interested. He was the cutest. But, I knew of his girlfriend, so I didn't want to get attached. Even though I kept that in mind, I tried hard to impress him. I said things that made no sense, and tried talking about stuff that I had no clue about. It wasn't one of those things where we instantly hit it off, fireworks went off, and we fell in love. No, it took time. He was less than interested at first, or that's how it seemed. Later, I found out he was down in the dumps because of his girlfriend. The second time we talked, he seemed more laid back and interested. Throughout that whole weekend, we talked for hours at a time. Then come Sunday night, it was time for me to go back to my home. We didn't talk through the whole week because, like I said, I had no internet at home. I couldn't help but to think about him. I wondered if he noticed I hadn't been on. Part of me thought, "Yeah, we talked all weekend, how could he not?" But, another part of me thought, "No, Michaela, he probably doesn't. He's got a girlfriend. Get it out of your head." But I couldn't help but to try.

Friday night, I go back to Grammy's. First thing I do? Get on the computer, of course. I sign into MSN, hoping that boy would be on. He was. The first thing he told me was that he missed me. Oh, the feeling I had. That was all I wanted. And I got it. I was insanely happy at this point. The bad part? I was, in fact, getting attached. I knew I was, but I wouldn't dare force myself to stop talking to him. From here on, it's a little blurry. I can't remember everything, but I do know somehow along the line, we became best friends. I liked him, & he liked me. But, the puppy love he had with... Let's call her SB. The 'love' they had was no match for that tiny spark we had. I can't say I minded a whole lot settling for the title 'best friend' but, that's not what I wanted at all.

Once SB found out I was his dirty little secret, she flipped. And from there, everything seemed to go downhill. SB and I fought, and he was no longer allowed to speak to me. Sometimes, he did. But sometimes, he wouldn't. I won't write everything about her down because, well, it was just the usual middle/high school drama. After they were done and over with, and Jacob and I had been through too much fighting, I had given up. So, no. We did not date. Not yet. We would talk every now and then. It was like we'd go through stages of liking each other and wanting to talk, to not caring and not talking at all. I feel like I'm jumping around in this story. But in one of the stages where we liked each other, we got brave enough to hang out. Not alone, with other people, of course. We chose the park since it was Summer. That was the very first time we kissed. Again, no. Fireworks didn't come out of no where, or anything like that. It was just an awkward first kiss between two people. But enough with that, I'll get on to the bad part.

I picked the wrong guy. Since I had my eye on another guy, I chose him instead of Jacob. This guy, I'll call him CS, he was just the king of all jerks. Worst boyfriend anyone could ever have. How I ever chose him over Jake, I'll never ever know. But, I did. So Jake and I didn't really talk for around say, eight months? The relationship with CS didn't last that long. It only lasted about two. But, I spent the rest of the six making silly mistakes with people who didn't really matter.

Back to the good part. After I was done with being stupid, somehow Jake and I began talking again. Nothing too serious, just the typical hey, hi, hello's. Then, Spring Fest of 2010. We hung out for the first time in a long time. I had the most fun with him than I had had in a long time. I don't remember how, but somehow we began to hold hands that night. And when our hands became locked, I didn't want to let go. That was the moment I was waiting for. The moment things kicked off, fireworks went off, and I felt like I was in love.

Now, the last piece. Who asked who out, all that good stuff. Truth is, no one really said 'Will you be mine?' I suppose you could say I sort of asked, but anyway. We were texting, as all teens, & most adults these days, do. But instead of the usual 'wanna go out?' crap, here's what I did.

Earlier that day, I noticed his relationship status said 'single.' Which, I did not like. Technically, he was, but he wasn't. I asked him to change it to 'seeing someone' that way girls would get the idea to, ya know, back off? He did. Of course. But then a few hours later, I kept thinking about how I just wanted to be with him. I wanted things to be serious this time, and I thought he'd never ask. So, I told, not asked, told him to go change his status again to 'in a relationship.' At first, he played dumb. "Why? Why??" he'd say. Although I thought it was cute, I just wanted him to say yes.

He did, of course. And the past seven months with him, I've been my happiest. No one knows how to make me smile in a second like he does. He's truly the most amazing guy in the world. No one could ever make me happier. So, I dedicate this whole entire blog to him.

I'm a blur.

I started my sophomore year off at a new school, Wayne County High. It's been almost an entire semester, and I'm amazed at how time flies by. I remember the very first day like it was yesterday..

I walked through those doors with that horrible, anxious feeling in my stomach, with my boyfriend by my side. Even though I had him there, he's a junior, so I knew I was going to have to be a little more independent and responsible this year. As I walked down the hall, I looked around nervously at all the teenagers who had been through this before. When the bell rang, I had no idea what I was to do. I cried, on my very first day of a new school, and I was a loner in most of my classes. I'm shy, and won't talk to anyone unless they start up a conversation with me. Before long, I had already learned who was safe to talk to, and who I should avoid. As the year went on, I became more open. I talk to more people. I'm still shy, and sort of a loner in some classes. But that doesn't bother me much. I've had some pretty strange things happen at this school though. Take today, for example. My boyfriend, Matt, and I were having a normal lunch together. Pizza, french fries, milk. Yumm. A couple of girls sitting behind me catch my attention, so I turn around to see them screaming at each other. Since I didn't think much of it, I turned back around to only be surprised by a small food fight between the girls. Hot baked beans were slung all over me and my two friends. Of course, I got most of it, lucky me, since I was sitting right next to them. So here I am, standing in front of the whole lunch room, with a whole serving of baked beans in my hair. What a horrible day. My boyfriend walked me to the office so I could call my mom and have her pick me up. At least six people, whom I did not know, asked me if I was okay. I thought it was polite, the school even let Jacob sit out of class to wait on my mother with me. When I was called to the principal's office, he said, and I quote, "...and I assure you, I will not be throwing my food on Thanksgiving." Oh, the joy of a teenage life.

Grow Up

I want a new start, a new beginning. I want to go somewhere with a meaning. Somewhere where people treat you like a human being. And like you mean something to them and this hopeless planet we call home. I want to move. Far.. far away. To a place where not a soul can find me. A place where I can stare at the big blue ocean all day, and not have to obsess over the less important things. It seems as if some people can't go a day without judging someone, or pointing fingers and laughing. Why do kids, no, why do people do that? Say mean things? What's the point in it? I don't understand. Dont't they say.. "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all." Learn to listen, then listen to learn. Grow up..

I want to love and be loved. Live life with all that I've got. Give as much as I have to give. I'm not living like I should. Hardly anyone is these days. Teenagers my age are going out every weekend drinking or doing drugs. What makes them any more cool than me when I sit home all weekend reading or talking to my boyfriend? Nothing. Because no one will get anywhere in life doing those things. Can't we change that? I want to do something different with my life. I want to create beautiful things, and inspire millions of people. I want to know I've inpired them to do something productive with their lives. I want to live my dreams.

Change Is Okay

Well, here goes a little bit of everything. I've read so many blogs about silly things like breakups, heartaches, hangouts, and so on.. I find it interesting to keep up with people and watch them change. Time does indeed change everything. No matter what I'm told, I'll always believe that. It's the end of my freshman year, and already I've been through so many difficult changes my head might explode if something else happens.

Throughout the summer of '09, and the beginning of my freshman year, I moved a numerous amount of times. I even lived with Shadera, shes only my best friend. My family got into a bit of a tough situation, and mom went away for awhile. Now, my mother and father are in the process of getting a divorce after being together for 15 years. But, things change, and thats okay. Mom and me currently live with my grandma. Although, we are looking for an apartment somewhere. One day, when she's done with what she needs to do here, we'll move away from this town. Off to my dream state, Maine. I'm a little more than excited. My mother is by far my best friend.

In the beginning of the freshman year, I had the most wonderful friends anyone could ever dream of. Now, half of them are gone, thanks to silly relationships that they think will last a lifetime. It's sickening looking at these middle and highschool kids who think they're in love. We're far too young to even talk about such things. I'll be glad when things go back to the way they're supposed to be. Unless, of course, this is how things are supposed to be. Then in that case, I want things to be how they aren't supposed to be. Because life seemed better before.

In more recent news, my summer vacation will start in 15 days. Although, if the weather doesn't change, it will start off cold and rainy. I want to see the sun shine. I will make this summer a happy one, even if things aren't the way they should be, or the way they shouldn't be.